Last week I wrote a blog about not comparing yourself to other people’s versions of life in lockdown. As I said on social media you don’t see the whole of their life the good. the bad and the ugly.
One of the key worries that this can create in your mind is a FOMO (fear of missing out). If other people have lost half a stone getting fit or are having regular virtual quizzes and pub nights with lots of friends and I’m not. What does that say about me? Shouldn’t I have a life like that or am I missing out?
In the pre-corona world this FOMO drove us to feel like we had to be constantly busy, to work harder, have more fun, look better and be endlessly smiling and happy. Unfortunately that constant pressure we put on ourselves is not just exhausting but will also never feel like it’s enough.
If you’ve struggled with FOMO in life before CV are you feeling JOMO now?
In the restricted bubble that is your current world are you feeling lighter or freer?
I heard a colleague of mine Amanda Fitzgerald (an expert in PR) refer to a new emotion JOMO (joy of missing out) and this resonated so much with me as to how I am currently feeling.
I’ve noticed how much I’ve slowed down. I’m not constantly multi-tasking with a never-ending ‘to do’ list on my mind. I take the time to just sit and talk with my kids, to walk the dog with my husband, and to enjoy cooking rather than shoving something in the oven.
I’ve learned to enjoy being present (an essential coaching skill) not just with my clients but also in other areas of my life. I’ve even downloaded PictureThis a plant identifier and Chirpomatic that recognises bird song. Not something I would previously have imagined!
I’m sure a lot of this is also down to the lovely weather and I’ll let you know if I still feel the same when the weather changes. But, after 4 weeks in social distancing, I am really enjoying that sense of JOMO and I’m determined not to lose it when we return to some sort of ‘normality’.
I’d be really interested to hear how you are feeling in these strange times. Which of FOMO or JOMO are you feeling and how has that changed your behaviours?
You can either comment at the bottom of this blog on my website here o, send me an email by replying to this one or book a free call with me at www.speakwithjo.com. I’d love to hear from you.
Stay safe and well and have the best week you can.
Funnily enough we were discussing this over dinner shared with my husband and two grown up working age children one of whom normally lives in London. ‘What are we missing most?’ My answer ‘not a lot. I feel more content than I have done for a long time’. My son’s reaction ‘that’s sad mum’. On the contrary, I lead a full life and am blessed with good friends and family but right now I’m enjoying not having everyone rushing out to be somewhere, not rushing to get ready to go out, knowing that everyone is back for dinner rather than extracting all this information via text messages, knowing that we can plan meals, share cooking, cook meals from scratch. I’m loving going out for long walks enjoying time with my husband and family in nature instead of us all attending separate gym classes or forms of exercise, without lots sweaty gym kits and costumes to wash. I’m enjoying less washing and ironing, (we share this as a household but even so) more time to spend loving and caring for our house and garden. When I’m out walking I’m enjoying listening to birds sing, lambs bleat and the smell of grass. All this on my doorstep that I took for granted. I’m appreciating where I live and want to continue this after lockdown. It’s the perfect antidote after a day at work. I’m enjoying spending more time with adult children, watching films on Netflix I never had ‘time’ for before, playing old fashioned board games. I’m enjoying baking. I even tried to french plait my adult daughter’s hair. Failed to nail it, but improved nevertheless. Even my husband who is a social butterfly, admits he feels more relaxed. No rushing up and down the motorway with work helps. I’m still connecting with friends and family virtually, from the comfort of my own home, with quizzes and the odd social night, without the the need to walk home or get a taxi later. I don’t feel pressured to do anything and I don’t feel guilty about not seeing anyone. I can just be. We are all busy working from home and I enjoy sometimes meeting up for lunch in the garden. I don’t feel sad for admitting to this. It’s all about paring back and finding joy and quality time with what is right in front of you rather than leading a full but chaotic, and exhausting lifestyle. I’m really glad I came across this article because it’s nice to hear I’m not the only one with JOMO and I am very happy to enjoy this feeling right now. (This does not take away my immense gratitude to all key workers and what they are experiencing right now).