I’ve just come back from a lovely week with the family at the Northumberland coast. There were beautiful sunny beach days, wet and windy frustrating days and surprise crazy golf days.
Just like in life there are good times, comfortable times, and periods of adversity. How we react to these times has a lot to do with our ego and fear. Both of which affect our confidence levels and can cause self-doubt.
Our ego is the story we tell ourselves about our identity it’s anything to do with ‘I’ or ‘me’. It forms from early conditioning and experiences in life and is how we describe ourselves.
When you are thinking consciously about what you want, what you are doing, what other people think about you, and what might happen for you in the future, you’re thinking from your ego. Your reactions are all about you and If you have fears or worries the ego amplifies them. We all have an ego but if you aren’t stuck in it and can see beyoing it, life is easier.
When you’re engrossed in a good book, having a comfortable conversation, or are in a flow experience, your “I” has receded into the background. You are responding automatically without much conscious ego-related thought. You are not currently concerned about who you are, what you want, or the implications of events for your personal interests and well-being. Being present in the moment unconsciously results in adversity seeming to be less of a problem.
I noticed that during my holiday it was easier to fall out of my ego and be in the current moment a lot more than usual. This natural change meant I spent time in the present not thinking as much about the past or future. When that happens, I get a lighter feeling, a connection, and my sense of identity or ego reduces.
I did take time out to listen to Eckhart Tolle’s latest videos on Awakening Through Adversity. His slow pace and calm wisdom really suited my mood.
He talks about the general suffering we all have as being down to our ego and our fears, of which there are 3 types
- Personal fear – of a situation that has happened, is currently happening or may happen in our personal world
- Collective fear – of a collective situation such as a pandemic or war
- Mental fear – of our thoughts that tell us a negative narrative or worry
All of these fears cause genuine worry or suffering, something none of us can escape as It’s part of our human experience. But, when you’re not caught in your ego or sense of how awful this is for me, you’ll notice the worry diminishes.
I hope you hear something in this description of ego and fear and that it helps you drop out of worry and into moments of calm during these unknown times.
if you’d like to explore more of this side of ego and confidence do contact me here